Dinner for tonight

I made these Charred Corn Tacos from Smitten Kitchen for dinner last night. They were uber-yummy, even though I persist in calling it "scorched corn" for no apparent reason. And despite the fact that I forgot to add the chili powder and feta. But did add some red bell pepper when I added the "scorched" corn.

Do you know how many times you can type "scorched" before it looks weird? Twice. You can type it twice before you start doubting yourself and spell check it. And google it.

Anyway, despite all my omissions, they were delicious. So just imagine how awesome they'll be if you do it right? And even more awesome if you wait for a week or two until there's corn at the Farmers Market. (Hey, remember my Babysitters Club apostrophe angst? Well, I have similar Mother's Day angst. And, it turns out, Farmer's Market angst. So there you go, it's universal...but in the Farmers' Market case, the internets are unhelpful. All I'm sure of is that it is not Farmer's Market - because that would imply it was a market belonging to a single farmer, and that's not true. Hrmph.)

I love that in this recipe Deb (you know, I can call her Deb 'cause we're *totally* best buds. And by best buds I mean that  I read her blog fairly regularly. Well, it's in my reader and I look at the blog post titles when I have two seconds of my own to think about being creative, food-wise) suggests that you remove the toddler from the kitchen. It was helpful in convincing the husband to remove the children (coughandhimselfahem) from the kitchen and leave me in peace with my wine and loud music for their own safety. But she was right! Dang. I jumped a mile when that first kernel popped. The one year old would have screamed. Because he didn't have any wine to calm his nerves. Ahem.

/senseless ramble

Booze

Maybe it's because I'm a "single" mom this week....but these look scrumptious.

Peaches come from a can/ they were put there by a man/ in a factory doooowwwwwntoooowwwwnnnnnn

My beautiful, lovely, talented, amazing, fabulous, etc neighbors went to Georgia. And because they love me (mostly because I'm a shameless flatterererer), they brought me these gorgeous farm-stand peaches:

I have finally learned my lesson about canning stuff. Instead of googling "peach jam," I went straight to Marissa's blog, Food in Jars. But now I have a conundrum. Because I fell in love with the first thing that caught my eye - this Peach Jalapeno Jelly.

BUT! To make that, I have to can peaches. And I dooooonnnn'ttttt waaaaaaannnnnaaaaaa. *pouts*. I don't like canned peaches. They're squishy. *scrunches up nose*.

Just as I was about to spiral into a 4-year-old worthy fit of whining and foot-stomping, I saw this fruit butter post. I used this recipe a couple summers ago to make apple butter. Only problem being that I made so much apple butter that I kind of went off it for awhile. Awhile being a year and a half, apparently (BTW, can I interest you in some apple butter??). But here's my grand plan - I think maybe I can process the peaches as though I am going to can them, but then (here's the tricky part) not can them. I know!!!! I'm like the Sigfried and Roy of cooking. Except not the one who got mauled. I'm the other one. So then I'll take my processed peaches and cook them down to butter and then (here's another twist, are you ready?) can the butter. And take the left over syrup (theoretically this should leave more syrup for jellying) and make the Peach Jalapeno. My only concern is that the peach butter might be super sweet....but there's only one way to find out!

Bossy-boots

So remember when I demanded that you make white chili? There may have been some threatening involved....Anyway, as an oldest child, I reserve the right to boss you around again. And once more, I shall force you to make soup.

Hmmm.....must be a soup thing. Interesting, considering when I found Husband he said he "didn't like soup." To which I responded, "Bullshit. You can't not like soup. It's like not liking beverages. There are so many textures, tastes, even temperatures. You can dislike minestrone or chili or cold soups. But you can't hate soup as a category." And you know what? I was right. He likes soup. (Side-note: I figured out why he didn't like soup, and a myriad of other things. But I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings posting about it here. Let me know if you'd like the answer.)

Anyway, he liked this Chilled Avocado-Cumber soup. I loved it, despite the fact that I often don't enjoy cold soups. The one-year-old liked a few bites, the four-year-old categorically refused it- but that has nothing to do with taste and everything to do with being four.

You. Must. Make. It. It's for your own good, trust me. If I were queen, I'd mandate it.

I doubled the recipe, so as to take some on my girls' weekend. But I still only used one jalapeno, which left plenty of kick....enough that the baby only wanted a few bites. And I added a third avocado to up the creaminess. So if I were to make a single batch, I would use half a pepper, and one and a half avocados.

Aaaaaaaand, now I'm salivating. The left-overs might not make it to the girls' weekend.....

Strawberries

So I finally went to the farmer's market. Last summer I had an excuse....he was a bayyyyybeeeeee. Everything was haaaaaarrrrrdddddd. This summer - I am just lame.
But I went! And I found these!

I picked the four-year-old up from camp and said, "We got lots of strawberries this morning. Do you want to make pie or jam?" The answer: "STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE!!"

So I went here!

My mom's well-thumbed, yellow-paged, butter-filled (the recipes, not the pages) Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook. The cookbook of my youth. The cookbook that defines "making cookies" for me.

But there are problems with this recipe...

For instance, if three teaspoons equals a tablespoon, then why doesn't the recipe just say a tablespoon? Also, I don't sift. And finally, I  am butter cutting impaired

Ok. Most of these are actually my problems. Hrumph. But anyway. That might be why my shortcake looks like this:

But, luckily, Auntie B the Canadian was there to walk us through the process via Skype. She watched the four-year-old roll out the dough. Then she was treated to a show in which the four-year-old implied that maybe Auntie B and 'Abriel should just get married already.

Auntie B is posing for her meta-technology moment, because, quote, "That's what Auntie B does."

Anyway, turns out if you put enough ice cream and strawberries on it, it doesn't matter if your shortcake is hard, dry and burned on the bottom.

However, the four-year-old who wanted STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE to start with changed her mind without even taking a bite. Instead she wanted to save it for Christmas, because "Santa might want to eat her." Apparently all Strawberry Shortcake, not just the doll, is female. Who knew?? Whatevs, Kiddo. More for Mommy. Peace out.

Granola Bars a la Y. Maybe.

At the Y Cafe in Rockford, Illinois, there is a magical thing.

This magical thing is addictive. 

This magical thing is made by Crazy Michael, who thinks that assaulting a person with Bible verses will make them burn their UU t-shirt and beg to be immediately baptized in the smoothie machine.

This magical thing is a granola bar of such wondrous yumminess that I continue to patronize Crazy Michael's business, even though he assaulted my friend with Bible verses. Do not, however, imply to Crazy Michael that the granola bars - despite their addictive qualities, may have crack in them. He does not find this amusing. At least he didn't assault me with Bible verses when I implied it. I think he's afraid of my husband.

In an effort to break loose from my addiction to Crazy Michael (in part because of his emotionally abusive tendency to not always have my granola bars on hand every time I want them!!!!!!!) I'm going to attempt to recreate them. Hot Jill works at the Cafe, and has procured the broad strokes of what these bars entail. So with my palette (and hopefully with the help of Dawn of the Impeccable Taste) and a basic recipe, I hope to conquer my emotional dependency on Crazy Michael.

The one year old helped measure (not really, but don't tell him that).

And the four year old helped press them between two cookie sheets (this is Crazy Michael's trick. And really. Who can resist standing on food??).

The first attempt has a good flavor...but, um....it's not really in bar form. At all. Way to crumbly. I was drawing from a second recipe that said the mix would "still be crumbly" when you put it in to cool. I replaced the cup of coconut with a full cup of oats. I think I shouldn't have done that. So I'm going to up the nut butters and cut the oats with the next batch.

Secondly, it's a tad too sweet. I'm not sure if I can just cut back on the honey to fix that...I'm unsure how big a part the honey plays in the binding, of which I am so horribly short.

Also, my carob for the top is not melty. I don't know if I burned it or if there's a trick of which I am unaware. But it's gloppy.

I'm going to eat this batch with a spoon and try again. I'll let you know the measurements when I actually figure them out. But if you want to play with the recipe yourself, here's what I substituted in the original recipe:

3 cups of oats, since I omitted the coconut

1 cup of sunflower seeds

1 cup of almonds

HEY!!!!! I just realized what I did!!!! I subbed in both a cup of oats and a cup of almonds for one cup of coconut. SILLY!

1/2 cup almond butter
1/4 cup sunflower butter
Substitute dried cherries for chocolate chips (I think it could stand more than a 1/2 cup. I'm going to use a cup next time)

Then I added carob chips, melted and spread on top. The taste is right, even if I may or may not have burned the gloppy carob.

Rachel who?

Dude. This is what I get for not paying attention to popular media: Rachel Ray stole my schtick. Um, 'cause you know. I'm way more accomplished than her as a cook. Totally. Ahem. Ok, so maybe she did it first. Whatever, Rachel.

But on the plus side. I trust her. She is hella annoying (forgive the 90's slang, please). I would never watch her show. But I have several cookbooks, and she has never steered me wrong. So I feel good basing a week on her. Though I'm picking and choosing which to use. Have I told you about my total phobia of cooking the same thing twice? It's ridiculous....I always make new recipes. There are a few I go back to over and over. But not many. I don't know why. Even when we're having company. It's an illness.

This week:

From good ol' Rach:
Smokey Spanish Hunter's Chicken (do Spanish hunters hunt chickens? why don't they just raise them? hunh.)
Roasted Tomato Marinara with Spaghetti Squash

P-Dub's Mac and Cheese, which I made once to curb the carbby beast within.

And from the Super Spectacular Only Cook Once in Your life and Save Millions cookbook, Chipotle Corn Chowder and Bow-Tie Pasta with Pork and Raspberry Cream Sauce.

I have chosen not to make the entire week of Rachel's recipes, just because they don't all appeal to me, and I'm high-maintenance like that. But the two recipes that I've chosen both use the Parmigiano and Herb-Fortified Stock and Roasted Tomatoes, so I'll start there. 


DAY-UM. I guess I'd better start there as it has to simmer for an hour. I only need 4 cups of this 16 cup recipe...so, math. Um. Hard. I think I'll just worry about cutting the liquid to...maybe 2 cups of broth and 4 of water? I know that's not exact. That's why I'm an artist
.
It is hard to cut the rind off Parmigiano:

While that simmers for an hour and the tomatoes roast, I'm starting the Mac and Cheese. This I'm going to do double and freeze some for us, because who doesn't need some Mac and Cheese in the freezer. No one. That's who. Except crap. I forgot to get extra cheese. I think I can make it work....I have the tail ends of some cheddar, mozzarella, and parm. Eh. 'Sall good. For the record, I'm not in love with the grating function of my food processor. Especially for softer cheeses. It gets stuck.
So I end up with all these sad little ends to grate by hand:

I really hate when you're in the middle of a recipe, like the Hunter's Chicken and it says char the peppers and you say, "What peppers?" While I wait for the troops to arrive with my peppers, I'll do the tomato sauce instead. I'm skipping the pepper, since Cousin's fam isn't a spicy fam.
I think this is marjoram.

Close enough!

I don't know if I missed the part of the recipe that said to core the tomatoes, or if Rachel just likes big chunks of tomato core in her sauce. But I had to fish the cores out and I'm adding some more paste, because the sauce is kind of thin. Those points aside, I'm really sorry I didn't double this, because it smells amazing.

I do love these soups from The Utterly Stupendous Cooking Plan book! So easy: combine and freeze. For the corn chowder it's 1 cup corn, 1 can creamed corn, turkey (so Husband can eat it) bacon, sauteed onion, 1 can of evaporated milk, and "white sauce" - 1 tablespoon of butter melted, 1 tablespoon of flour whisked in.

Hi. I'm Morgan. I burn cookie sheets while charring bell peppers for the Hunter's Chicken.
I also lose many things while cooking, including my camera....here's an iPhone picture.

For the record, the camera was under a hot pad. One day when I feel secure enough, I will take and post a picture of what my kitchen looks like at the end of a cooking day. That day is not today!